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  Forget Triathlons, THIS is a stupid idea

Day 5 with Musexians was filled with splendor
Tho beers around me make diet coke blander
Emma made us dress up classy to eat and be merry
which in her weird pommy head meant "Peri Peri"

Day 6 came and went with reports of few
but post 12k run my calves screamed "eff you"
Next night went to gather drunken "lost and found"s,
Suit with Phil; Shoes with Pat; Pride nowhere around

Knees were shaky for Thursday night's big call -
to be completely sober throughout Comm Ball
Ducked and avoided Temptation's pulls
and instead canonballed 7 or 8 Redbulls

Left the Ball to the 3-way Pom party D-Floor
ripped a carpet in my budget tuxedo
As people pulled up stumps around 2.30
I buzzed to St.Kilda for the Ball after party

Overslept, no training, late for work - SH*T!!
With redbulls still pumping I Usain-Bolted it
After work dinner/drinks with drunken Tri-mates
while stressing the Gluttony Party that awaits

Only a few better benefits of swapping beer for water
Than seeing J-Mac pee in front of Brumby's daughter
Over doing dance moves left a sore right leg
but hardly noticed the pain while sober motor-boating Meg

Games of beer pong and smell of grog nearly made me cry
But 2 litres of Coke zero gives a well intense high
3am-Explained Ocsober to an Indian cabbie
The legend reduced my charge to sponsor me $4.50!

55k ride, next morning was no piece of cake
and it was sure no icing; 5k run around the lake
The cloudless sky in the arvo begged for VB tinnies
But I stuck with coke zero at Caulfield Guineas

Nearly half the struggle's over yet there's plenty more
More races, wine tour, Wilson's prom still to go
But I keep myself sane through "Sober October"
With my to-do list for "Can't Remember November"